Marino Diaries



 People may never understand his plight, but one thing is for sure: he always got a friend in me.

Unlabeled
By S.E.

          I've been working as a seaman for some time now. From time to time I have to deal with my crew mate's attitude towards me. I have to conform to the standards that may not be written but implied by the industry whose patriarchal complex and machismo is at large. Like most people who struggle in their workplaces trying to be themselves, trying to avoid discrimination, mine is of no exception. Let me share my story, a story of personal journey to self-acceptance in a world where the definition of the word acceptance is elusive.

           I remember when I was still a kid. I was innocent and carefree. All I wanted to do was play and have fun, until I grew up and the world introduced me into their set of rules. Boys are supposed to do this and girls are supposed to do that. If you won’t conform to the society’s expectations then you will be labelled like an object and be a subject to never-ending insults, making you beg for what is supposed to be given free to everyone-LOVE.

           Sometimes I ask God why He allowed me to be like this. Why do I have to see the world differently? Why would His creations hate me and tell me that I am nothing but garbage in the society, a disease. Does God really despise me? Am I not His son? Have I really been sent by Lucifer to lead mankind’s extinction? These perceptions are the very same barriers that hold me down. I am a prisoner of sexist ideology, tied to the ground their stereotypical judgments.

           For a guy who’s always been in constant struggle in finding affection and acceptance, life is not easy. While I’m up fighting an endless battle I’ve always had for more than half of my life, people around me will never cease to enjoy ideas regarding sexuality in which they have declared themselves masters at. Little do they know that it’s more than a What-you-see-is-what-you-get situation. Sexuality is a complicated puzzle. Being a hard one to decipher, in some cases, it had lead for some to question self-worth and their existence. It had even claimed lives because of the society’s pretentious idea of righteousness and godliness.

           The only way of moving forward is by suppressing every thought and emotion, practically everything about my genuine identity. I admit I would want myself to break free from the barriers that have been holding me, but I am afraid of the things that would come after. I am afraid that I would turn out to be the same generic gay guy the society had stereotyped. I am afraid how the world is going to receive me, and of course my family, whom I have always lived for. Will all my efforts of trying to be a good son and a brother go to waste? Will they still see me as the same person they have shared home with? Will I all of a sudden be a stranger to them?

            Self–acceptance is freedom or so they say. But being under the scrutinizing eyes of the people who refuse to understand how it is being on my shoes don’t seem to make that valid at all. I am torn between what I feel is right and what the society imposes to be the only way of living. I don’t see the significance of choices and living one’s own life.

           From then on, freedom is out of reach, but now as I think of it, I am not the problem. I was never the problem but the world is, blinded by too much light shed on it, failing to see the person that I really am. The guy who wants to succeed in his life and be capable of giving his parents the life they’ve always wanted to give their children but couldn’t. The guy who laughs at silly things and cries when his soul is beaten down. The guy who wants to find someone whom he will spend his life with. Have kids and a home. Go to the mall. Eat at ice cream shops. Watch sunsets. I want to be with someone I know I am going to be happy with and that is not a bad thing because to love was and will never be wrong for God is Love.

           All I have ever done was love and that is the only thing that I deeply needed. But why is it that all I ever receive is hate? I have never harmed anyone. I have always been silent, tried to be somebody whom nobody cares about. I have always been avoiding attention but when they do realize my presence, it will be the start of my never ending struggle. Emotional and mental abuse can lead me to self-destruction. But I won’t let it be my end. I just couldn’t.

           God is love, I remembered and all of a sudden I am awake. God is love. I keep on repeating it to myself like a long forgotten mantra.

         I am all that and gender will never dictate my relevance in this world. I will never fear destructive comments from people who don’t know a single thing about my personality for I am not a bad person. I will never seek revenge to those who did me wrong for I am better than that. No, I will never declare myself holy nor will I deny being a sinner. The world can judge but they can never destroy me because I have faith in God for I am His son. I will always remember that there is no evil in honesty and it shall never be called acceptance of fault. I am choosing happiness and freedom for the person that I genuinely am. Besides, I didn’t choose to be gay, I woke up like this.

Virginity Blues

      “Noy, virgin ka pa ba?”

      Dyahe ang tanong na yan. Sa bawat kontrata ng pagsakay ko sa barko hindi maalis-alis ang tanong na iyan. Porke ba bata pa ako at ilang beses pa lang ako nakasampa kailangan na akong paulanan ng mga tanong na may kinalaman sa mga ganyan? Minsan nakakainis na lang ang paulit-ulit na pagtatanong nila kahit na sinasagot ko naman ang mga iyon. Napapatanong din tuloy ako kung ang anumang pangyayaring may kinalaman sa virginity (ko) ay may malaking epekto ba sa pangaraw-araw nilang buhay. O kailangan lang talaga nilang maging updated dahil isang giant leap for mankind iyon, sakaling hindi na nga ako virgin.

      Noon pa man inihanda ko na ang sarili ko sa mga ganung tanong. Sasagutin ko sila. Sasabihin ko kung ano ang totoo para wala nang mahabang usapan. Pero sa halip na tumigil lang sa sagot ko sa tanong nila, mas lalo pa akong inuusisa. Mas marami pang mga follow-up questions. Mas lalo pa silang naiintriga. Hindi ko rin minsan maiwasan na maalaska.

      Kung iisipin hindi naman malaking bagay iyon. Ang pagtatanong at pang-aalaska nila. Kaya ko namang harapin ang bawat salitang binibitawan nila. Ang nakakainis lang talaga ay ang paulit-ulit na pagbanggit nila tungkol doon. Nakakarindi. Nakakakulili sa tainga.

      Katulad ng isang beses na nakasama ko ang isang crewmate sa trabaho. Dahil siguro wala ng maisip na mapag-uusapan, binuksan na naman niya ang topic na may kinalaman sa tanong sa taas. Na sa pagkakaalala ko, napag-usapan naman nung nakaraang araw. Habang pinipilit ko na magpokus sa ginagawa ko, nakaramdam lang tuloy ako na kailangan kong sagutin ang tanong niya. At dahil mas matanda siya sa akin, sinisikap ko na magpakita ng respeto hangga’t maaari.

      Sa simula tinanong niya ako kung virgin pa daw ba ako. Sinagot ko naman ng matipid na “oo”. Hindi daw siya naniniwala, kaya inulit ko ang sagot ko. Kung nakahawak man lang ba ako ng ano, dagdag niya. Sinagot ko ng hindi pa talaga. Ang hina ko raw. Mahina saan? Sa isip-isip ko. Sunod niyang tanong ay kung may girlfriend daw ba ako. Sinabi kong wala. Huling girlfriend ko two years ago. May pagkapilosopo na ang huling tanong niya: kung lalaki daw ba talaga ako.

      Great. Just when I thought Neanderthals died 40,000 years ago, here I am talking to one. Anyare? Panong nakasurvive? Gusto ko sanang sabihin sa kanya na why not go back to your cave and shut yourself to promote World Peace?

      Siyempre naman, sagot ko. Dinaan ko na lang din sa tawa ang pagkainis. Iniisip ko na kailangan mo bang gumawa ng mga bagay-bagay, maging ‘normal’ sa mata ng iba para may mapatunayan ka? Sa sarili kong pananaw, hindi. Hindi ko kailangang gawin ang labag sa paniniwala ko o ipilit ang sarili ko sa pagkakaroon ng relasyon upang patunayan na ganap na seaman ako o lalaki ako. Ang lagi kong isinasaisip, may tamang panahon para sa mga bagay-bagay at mas kilala ko at hindi ng ibang tao ang sarili ko.

      Nakakalungkot lang isipin na hindi lang isa o dalawang kaso ng pagkakahon ang ginagawa ng ilan sa kanilang kapwa. Hindi lang ako ngunit mayroong iba pa ang minamata dahil sa mga pinipili nilang gawin sa buhay nila. Na kung wala ka pang karanasan sa seks (sa ganitong edad), olats ka. Na kung olats ka nga, hindi ka nila kikilalaning kabilang sa grupong binigyan na nila ng standard sa lipunan. Plus points pa nga daw kung lalaki ka at may experience o naka-experience ka na. The measure of masculinity daw. The hell. Kung sinuman ang nagpasimula ng ganitong kaisipan, congrats. You can now die a slow and gruesome death. De, joke lang.

      Tawagin na akong demure, old school, sissy, korni, cheesy o kung ano pa man sa sasabihin ko, pero hindi ba’t di hamak na mas exciting ang intimate moments when shared with someone you love, at alam mong siya na nga talaga ang makakasama mo habambuhay? Minsan natatawa ako sa sarili ko dahil sa pagkakaalam ko, madalas na mga babae lang ang may malaking pagpapahalaga sa mga love and intimacy things na yan, at nararamdaman ko na mahalaga rin sa akin ang ganung mga bagay. Siguro dahil lumaki ako sa pangaral at natutong panghawakan ang prinsipyo ko sa buhay, pati na ang pagsisikap na magkaroon ng mataas na standard of morality.

      Kung virgin pa ba kamo ako? Oo ang sinasagot ko. Mas mabuti nang magsabi ng totoo kesa takpan ang sarili ko may mapatunayan lang sa ibang tao. Sa lipunang tumitingin hindi sa kabuuan ngunit sa isang bahagi lang ng pagkatao, mahalagang magkaroon ng kumpiyansa sa sarili at paniniwalang hindi nagpapatinag sa sistemang gawa ng mga mapangmatang tao. Inaasahan ko pa rin na sa mga susunod pang kontrata, makukulili at maririndi ako. Sige lang. Immune naman na ako.

When Comment Threads Become Platforms for Clash of Ideologies

 

    Hindi ako mahilig makipagtalo tungkol sa paniniwala ko. Napapansin ko rin na hindi maganda ang pinapatunguhan ng pagtatalo at pagpipilit ng paniniwala. This time, natrigger lang talaga ang pangangatwiran ko sa pagiging arogante ng ibang tao.

   Sipleng picture lang tungkol sa pagkakaiba ng Canonical at Apocryphal books, napunta sa pagtatalo tungkol sa Church tradition.

    Fired-up si ser, andaming sinabi. Sino kaya itong unang nagdeviate sa point ko?

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      Napapaisip pa rin ako kung sasagutin ko ba ang mga tinuran niya. Kung magpapadala ako sa agos ng diskusyon, I would be no different from those people na nakikita ko sa mga online discussions, making their stand, pinpointing their own belief as the light of righteousness  at minsan irrational na sa mga pinagsasabi nila.

    Naku talaga. Ewan ko nalang.

Losing my Religion

bible
      Grade three. Age, nine. We had few books in the house during those times, as far as I could remember. We only had a copy of a New Testament Bible in Tagalog and textbooks from school. I'm quite amazed of my childhood days every time I remember that I never grew tired reading those over and over again, especially the Bible, though I focused more on the vivid stories told in the four Gospels and the Book of Revelation. With my imaginative mind, the era of early Christians as well as the apocalyptic prophesy appeared to me as if they were happening around me. I was a kid then, and of course, I looked at the Bible as a thick storybook and I thought that everything that I had read had no other connotation.
      Grade four. Age, ten. When the school year began, Catholic Catechism subject was included in our curriculum. Everyday, right after lunch break, a middle-aged woman whom we call Ate Tess gives us lessons on Catholic teachings. She taught us the Lord’s prayer, as well as the prayers used during the mass. She also taught us the sacraments, the basic doctrines of the Church and everything that we have to know about Catholicism and how to become a good follower of Christ in a Catholic point of view. We’ve been told that if we do good, we will go to Heaven and we will be sent to Hell if we do bad things. I was terrified with such ideas on my head so I memorized every prayer and lessons she was teaching us to to become ‘the good person’ that I could ever be and be spared of the fires of hell. I was not expecting it, but at the end of the 2nd quarter (that was the time we finished our Catechism subject) I was given the award of best student in Catechism. It was ironic though, I didn’t practice the teachings at home, like praying all the memorized prayers. It was as if I was thinking that when I’m home, it is okay not to say the prayers, but at school, I definitely have to recite them. The recital at school would give me relief knowing that I would be spared of Hell, with the compliments and continuous coaxing  of Ate Tess to study what she had been teaching us. At home, it would be fine. Nobody tells me that I should pray the Lord’s prayer fervently, and my parents(who seemed not to care what I have learned at school) were always away anyway.
      Still in Grade four. Age, ten. Weekend. It was Saturday morning. Since we didn’t have any classes, me and my two younger sisters went to hangout on a small hut next to our house, owned by my grandparents. Nobody was there during that time, so we decided to play, taking our toys, and even our books. We were doing some role-playing; it was not the usual mock parenting but the portrayal of classroom instructions. I was the teacher and my two sisters together with a bunch of make-believe student toys listened to me as I lectured on a particular subject that I believe was something about plants. Our small kiddie discussion suddenly stopped when a man, in his early twenties dropped by and asked to be included in the class. Me and my sisters were silent for the moment, but burst into laughter few seconds later. When we were already done, the man was still smiling then introduced himself to us. He told us that we can call him Kuya Jonas. He showed us some books, with colorful pictures depicting Bible scenes. I was really amazed by those books that I asked him if he could give me some. Without any hesitation, he gave me three books, with a Bible (both Old and New Testaments) included. He then asked me if he could come again next Saturday, to teach me something about the Bible. I answered that he could, but he have to bring more books next time. He agreed, and the succeeding weeks turned to be the most exciting time of my childhood. I kept on asking questions, he answered them with Bible verses. Through that I have learned a lot. I also continued reading the Bible he gave me, starting from the book of Genesis up to the Book of Daniel. In no time, I was able to identify most of the major Old Testament characters. Our Bible study lasted until I was in grade six. I didn’t want to stop, but as I grow older and become more immersed at school, things were becoming more and more complicated.
      Grade five. Age, eleven. My mother told me that our aunt would be staying at home from Manila for a week-long vacation. When she arrived, I learned that she was a member of Iglesia Ni Cristo. I told her that I’ve been studying the Bible for sometime. She was quite surprised, but told me that I could learn more because she would be inviting their pastor at our house  on the following week.
       Wednesday. The INC pastor came with two other women whom my aunt referred to as ‘diaconesas.’ The term sounded funny for me so as their facial expressions. They seemed to be trying hard to project a smile every time the pastor looked at them. My aunt was the one who welcomed them, telling the pastor that I am quite knowledgeable about the Bible. The pastor was not impressed, so he started asking me questions that I couldn’t answer. Finally, the question was something about the Bible itself. I answered something relating to Dead Sea Scrolls. He retaliated with codices, raising his voice every now and then. I didn’t know if he just sounded sarcastic or angry during that time, but I burst into tears. Right before the pastor left, I heard  him telling my aunt, “akala ko ba marunong sa Bibliya?”
      Grade six. Age, twelve. I was almost ready to proceed with an in depth study of the Bible with Kuya Jonas, but due to my parents desire, I had to stop. They told me that it would only hinder my studies and other school activities. My grandfather also told me to stop doing the things he call ‘nonsense.’ He repeatedly stressed out that the Bible was written only by people and that all religion had no intentions but money. Lucky for me, all those things just went through my ears.
      I kept asking myself why didn’t my parents realize that studying Bible would also be for my own good. I still got good grades at school and I tried as much as possible to be a responsible son. I would sit for hours alone along a stream near our house when there’s nothing to do and wondered why the had to keep me from studying the Bible. Perhaps because I no longer do the sign of the cross. Or because I no longer eat dinuguan every time my father cooks some. Even if I wanted to study, I still had to follow them. I was in no position to push my beliefs when I was still dependent to my parents.
      Second year high school. Age, fourteen.  Since I had a background on the Bible, I started to have doubts on Catholic teachings. But still, I went to church. For me, it was more of an extra-curricular thing. I joined the Campus Ministry and we were given schedules to lead the Rosary every six o’clock in the evening during the month of October. The usual arrangement was two students lead the prayers, one would recite the first part and the other would answer with the second part of the prayer. And so it went until we completed the whole cycle of prayers. I remember back then, that when we were already have to say the Hail Mary, I hear myself mispronouncing hail to hell. My co-student would suppress her urge to laugh at me, making squeaky noises that would trigger a chain of chuckle to other students at our back. Meanwhile, I tried not to notice them, but deep in my thoughts, I found the repetition of prayers funny. Setting those thoughts aside, I would mumble ‘sorry Lord!’ silently.
      Third year high school. Age, fifteen. We were studying world history. The topics that caught my interest was the time of the Crusades and the Reformation. It was not the actual event of what had happened then that drawn me to do more research, but the involvement of the Church in these two historical events. I learned that the Church during those times held a very strong political power. So strong that some leaders abused the power to rule in different aspects on the lives of the commoners, even those who were considered elite in their social status.
       My skepticism heightened as I continued reading  more about history. Then I started asking people whom I believed had the authority to supply the most relevant answers for my questions. Why was it that the Church stopped Galileo from continuing his experiments? Why was it that the Church during the late Middle Ages sold indulgences to people to remiss their punishment in purgatory? Would a piece of paper could wash away their sins?  Why did the Church prevented some men to publish the Bible in common language during the Reformation? Why did Church leaders got involved in worldly affairs when Christ said that we should not be ‘(part) of this world?’ I wasn’t able to get an answer that would satisfy my wondering mind. Maybe I asked the wrong people, or maybe those people were not keen enough to look deeper into my questions.
      I felt as if my third year in high school brought a drastic change in my beliefs. I became more radical, I asked with reason. It was the Renaissance period of my life. I became aware of how some people, religious as they appear, present at the church every Sunday, did the opposite of what the sermon told them to do. Some went to church only to display their expensive clothes or body accessories. Some went there for mere appearance, might it be to make other people believe that they were devout enough to cover for their deplorable lifestyle.
      With the similar observation to some church leaders, I felt a sudden drift away from the belief that I had had since childhood. Then the continuous generation of questions inside my head further covered the topics that involve the doctrines of the Catholic Church. The presence of religious icons, the idea of Hell as well as the Purgatory among others made me rethink whether those things were indeed, biblical. Upon looking back of what I had studied in my elementary years, I realized that there’s a lot of things existing within the Catholic dogma that contradicts the Bible. And with that, the Catholic faith that was still in me faltered.
      First year college. Age, seventeen. I rarely went to church, only when some of my friends urged me to go. At this point, I already detached myself from my Catholic beliefs. I shared similar sentiments with some of my co-scholar. However, we decided to go to church to hear the sermon one Sunday afternoon.
      We arrived before the mass started so we went to find available seats on the front row to hear the sermon clearly. And when  the supposed to be the sermon part commenced, much to our dismay, the priest only read a very long letter regarding the RH Bill, how it violates life, so on and so forth. The letter condemned those people behind the bill, and stated that a member of the Church should not support such bill. My friends and I looked at each other with sarcastic expressions on our faces, as if everyone was thinking about the same thing. Later that afternoon, when we went back to the dormitory, I remembered one of them talking about the separation of the Church and the State.
      Second year college. Age, eighteen. I kept myself away from any religious denomination. I was already discouraged by some pastors whom I had seen before doing some debate on the city plaza, raising their voices to one another, one holding a Bible already torn, perhaps due to extensive scanning of pages to denounce the doctrine of the other individual. Why did they keep on saying that his own belief is the absolute truth when it is contrary to their actions? I was cynical. So another alteration came to me and I focused more on living life the way other young people live: no headaches of thinking about doctrines, no restriction on moral standards and no arguments to incite since I didn’t discuss my beliefs with other people.
      I noticed that I began to pray less. I had reasoned myself out. Why ask for forgiveness if every now and then I make mistakes? If I already know that I’d been sinful, that I am aware of my wrongdoings? I was thinking that it would be better not to pray if I am going to make the same sin anyway. I found out that it was easy not to follow the doctrines that I once followed, but hard to follow the moral standards set in the Bible. Definitely, it was easy to succumb to urges that would provide gratification than follow strict rules that would inhibit desires.  Little by little, I was slowly drawn on the verge of turning into agnostic.
      Third year college. Age, nineteen. During Sundays, every cadet was required to attend the PDL or Purpose Driven Life sessions led by our training officer who turned out to be a pastor of the local Christian church. We were given lectures on the scriptures, we did Bible sharing and a lot of jam sessions. It somewhat made me realize that I had been missing a very important part of my life: God. I realized that in the past, my stubbornness made me arrogant that I forgot to acknowledge the Divine Who was the very reason of my existence. I decided to change myself. To become a good person, a follower of Christ. Though I was not eager to join any Christian sect or denomination, I thought that it would be better not to have any religious affiliation as long as I conform to the Bible.
      Last year. Age, twenty. It was my first time onboard a commercial vessel. I met different people, with different religious belief. One was a Seventh Day Adventist, he kept on telling me that pork is not supposed to be eaten. The other one was a Croatian. He’d been lecturing some Krishna Consciousness stuff, reincarnation and sacred cows to me. There was also an Indian guy, who was a member of Zoroastrianism (a religion I had only read in history books), who told me something about sacred fires in their religion. So much with the new ideas, I only listened to them, digesting their beliefs, though all didn’t sank in my mind. Having an idea of this and that would be enough so that I could act without offending them and respect what they believe.
      Present day. Age, twenty-one. I still don’t eat dinuguan, nor believe in the idea of Hell (how could a loving God create such a place). I don’t do the sign of the cross. I only go to church just to accompany my Ate. I still pray, every night before I go to sleep, but my prayers are not the memorized ones. My parents no longer question my beliefs, nor ask me to go to church with them. Like a freelance believer, I do what I have to do to be good and I believe what I have to believe to be right.
     I’ve been into a series of religious journey, and I am expecting that there will be more journeys to come. I recently read the book Man Seeks God, a journey of a man who decided to examine one religion after another, but end up incorporating each belief into himself. I might be able to follow his lead, try searching to find what suits me. I could travel in search of a good religion, settle myself and live according to its system. Or I could be, as I said before, be a freelance believer, play safe, avoid guilt and live life in a belief that’s always win-win for me.
     Like someone alone on a boat drifting into the ocean to find his way to dry land, I lost my religion and now I am trying to search for a true one, even if it sounds elusive. I’ve been living with my own beliefs, yet those are not enough to suffice the totality of becoming a true Christian. I know that I believe in God, that everyday, I try to avoid temptations. I’ve been doing good things so as to follow Christ’s example, but would that be enough? I have notion that as long as I am good, I would be fine, or am I?
      With a lot of question I am still uncertain of my direction. There should be something to guide me, so that I would be able to find my way towards the light of the Divine. I might be living today with so much adherence to my own beliefs, but still, faith should not exist for my own or other people’s convenience.

Photo: credits to the owner.

Diez y Seis

 

     Katatapos ko lang panoorin ang isang dokyumentaryo ni Kara David sa I-Witness na pinamagatang “Ang mga Dalagita ng Sapang Kawayan.” May nag-play ng video file na iyon sa recreation room at nakalimutan yatang ihinto kaya minabuti ko na lamang na panoorin habang wala pang tao at di pa nababalot sa usok ng sigarilyo ang kwarto. Sa tantiya ko, matagal nang naipalabas ang episode na iyon sa telebisyon, at ngayon ko lang napanood dahil karaniwang may nagdadala ng kopya ng mga episodes ng TV programs mula sa Pilipinas sa barko. Gaya ng nakasaad sa pamagat, tungkol sa mga dalagita ng isang isla na kung tawagin ay Sapang Kawayan ang dokyu. Sa islang iyon, gaya ng isang normal na pook-rural, matiwasay na namumuhay ang mga tao. Makikita ang payak na set-up ng komunidad: may maliit na simbahan, munisipyo, plasa at paaralang pang-elementarya. Makikita mo ang mga batang naglalaro sa kalye, mga amang dala ang kanilang lambat mula sa kanilang pangingisda sa dagat at mga inang nag-aabang sa bawat tahanan. Ordinaryong-ordinaryo ang lahat, at hindi mo maiisip na sa gitna ng matiwasay nilang pamumuhay ay nagkukubli ang suliraning kinakaharap ng karamihan sa mga dalagitang naninirahan doon: ang maagang pagbubuntis.

     Nagkaroon ng pagkakataon si Kara na kapanayamin ang ilan sa mga dalagita sa lugar, na nasa pagitan ng 15 hanggang 17 taong gulang na ang iba ay nagdadalang-tao sa panahong iyon at ang iba naman ay mga ina na. Kinukwento ng mga nakapanayam ang sinapit nila, ang pagsasawalang-bahala, pati na ang kanilang pagsisisi sa huli. Habang pinapanood ko iyon, nakikinikinita ko ang hirap na dinanas ng mga dalagita sa kanilang panganganak at ang maaaring kahinatnan ng mga anak nila sa hinaharap. Iniisip ko kung saan ang mali at kung bakit kailangang kaharapin ng mga dalagitang ito sa murang edad ang responsiblidad na dapat sana ay naiatang sa kanila sa mas maayos nang yugto ng kanilang buhay.

     Teenage Pregnancy. Sa mga larawang pumapasok sa isipan ko sa tuwing nakakatagpo ko ang mga salitang iyan ay ‘di ko maiwasang manghilakbot. It actually sends chills down my spine. Hindi ko alam kung bakit, pero siguro, mas naiisip ko na kailangang magdalang-tao ang isang babae pagtuntong niya sa tamang edad, kung kailan kaya na ng kaniyang katawan ang maselang panahong iyon, kung kailan, kasama ang kaniyang kabiyak ay kaya na nila ang responsibilidad sa pagpapalaki ng kanilang magiging anak. Talamak na sa mga kabataan ang ganitong sitwasyon sa kasalukuyan. Sa lugar pa lamang namin, nakakaalarma na ang pagtaas ng bilang  ng mga nagdadalang-tao taon-taon bago pa man magtapos ng hayskul, at hindi ko rin maipagkakaila na dumating na rin ako sa sitwasyon kung kailan maaaring naging isa akong ama sa murang edad.

     Hayskul. Panahon kung kailan nagpupumiglas ang kapusukan ng mga kabataan. Gabi ng pagtatapos namin noon. Natapos na ang mga speech, iyakan, sumbatan, group hugs, at pagpapa-picture kasama ang buong batch, mga kaibigan at mga kapamilya. Sa madaling-sabi, nagsiuwian na ang karamihan para sa selebrasyon ng pagtatapos sa kanya-kanyang mga tahanan. Malayo pa ang uuwian ko noon kaya nagpaalam ako kay Mama na sa kaibigan ko nalang ako makikitulog dahil pupunta kami sa mga bahay ng mga kaklase kong nasa top ten. Inimbitahan nila kami para sumaglit sa mga salu-salong inihanda ng kani-kanilang pamilya para sa pagtatapos. Siyempre pa, tsibugan ang pupuntahan kung kaya’t di na ako nagdalawang-isip na sumama sa grupo ng mga kaklase kong magbabahay-bahay upang lantakan ang handaan ng mga nasa honor roll. Halos magkakalapit lang ang mga bahay ng mga kaklase ko sa bayan, at lumipas ang oras na halos di na kami makalakad dahil sa kabusugan.

     Lumalalim na ang gabi ngunit patuloy pa rin kami sa paglalakad sa bayan. Nabawasan na ang bilang ng mga nasa grupo naming magkakaklase; ang iba ay nagsiuwian na at ang iba naman ay nagpaalam na may pupuntahan pa. Anim na lang kaming natitira, tatlong lalaki at tatlong babae. Dalawang pares sa natirang grupo ang magkasintahan, at ang isang natitirang pares naman ay magka-MU diumano. Kabilang ako sa pares na may kasintahan. Tulad ng mga lovebirds na kasama lang ang kapares sa pag-ikot ng mundo, dinama namin ang paglalakad sa bayan na parang kami lang ang nasa daan ng gabing iyon. Kwentuhan, tawanan at mga cheesing banat. Halos langgamin na ang bawat pares sa ka-sweetan, at sigurado akong nararamdaman ng bawat isa ang mga salita sa katagang “love is in the air.”

     Nag-aya ang isa sa mga kaibigan kong lalaki na pumunta sa isa sa dalawang bahay nila. Wala raw tao doon at maaari kaming magpalipas ng gabi. Pwede rin daw kaming magjamming, o di kaya’y i-enjoy lang ang moment kasama ang mga kasintahan namin. Malapit lang naman ang bahay nilang iyon at di na kami nagdalawang-isip na pumunta at gawin kung anuman ang maaari naming gawin. Di kinalaunan, narating namin ang bahay nila at pumasok sa loob. Malaki ang bahay, na hanggang sa tatlong palapag. Nagkwentuhan kaming lahat sa sala, ngunit makalipas ang ilang minuto ay nagsialisan na din ang dalawang pares at kami na lang ng kasintahan ko ang natira.

     Nabalot ang sala ng nakakabinging katahimikan. Upang mawala ang awkward moment nauna akong nagsalita. Sinabihan ko ang kasintahan ko na humiga sa kandungan ko. Pagkatapos noon ay marahan kong sinalat ang kanyang mukha. Naglaro ang mga kamay ko sa kanyang noo, hinawi ko ang mahaba niyang buhok, saka gumapang ang mga daliri ko sa leeg niya.

     “Froilan ano ba! Kinikiliti mo naman ako ah!” hinambalos niya ang dibdib ko.

     “Oy sobra na yan ah. Naglalambing lang naman ako,” patawa kong sinabi sa kanya.

     “Naglalambing!” iyon lang ang nasabi niya at umiling. Maya-maya, biglang namatay ang ilaw.

     “What the hell. May nagpatay ng ilaw sa sala. Lokong Andrew yun ah, pinag-titripan yata tayo. Teka, isi-switch on ko muna.” Akma akong tatayo sa pagkakaupo pero pinigilan niya ako.

     “Wag na. Maliwanag naman yung buwan. Nasisinagan naman etong sala. Saka, alam mo ba kung saan banda ang switch?”

     “Oo nga no? Galing mo talaga. Sige. Dito nalang ako at kikilitiin ulit kita.” pagbabanta ko.

     Hindi na siya sumagot. Tanging malalim na buntong-hininga ang narinig ko galing sa kanya. Natahimik na naman kaming dalawa.

     Hindi ko alam kung ano ang pumasok sa kukote ko pero nagsimula ako yumuko. Dumampi ang labi ko sa labi niya. Malambot ang mga iyon. Bahagya kong inangat ang mga labi ko, saka muling inilapat sa mga labi niya.

     Ito ang pangalawang pagkakataon na nahalikan ko siya. Yung totoong halik. Smack lang yata yung una. Ganoon ako kainosente sa relasyon naming dalawa. Nininerbyos noon sa unang halik at ramdam ko pa rin ngayon  na mabilis pagtibok ng puso ko habang hinahagkan ko siya.

     Pareho kaming inosente. Parehong mabilis ang pagtibok ng puso at kinakabahan. Akala ko noong una na kapag hahalikan mo ang babae, ay gaganti din siya ng halik, tulad ng sa mga pelikula. Hindi ko iyon naranasan sa kanya nung first time, pero ngayon, nararamdaman ko ang paggalaw ng labi nya, kasabay ng paggalaw ng labi ko. Nagsimula akong maglaro at marahang kinagat ang labi nya. Pagkatapos noon, hindi ko inaasahang gamitin ang dila ko na nakipaglaro na din sa dila niya. Itutuloy.

Land Ahoy!

       strait of gibraltar

A ship approaching port near the Strait of Gibraltar

       Being a seafarer allows you to go places, absolutely for free. Though the next question would be something like this: Have you enjoyed your trip to those places you have been to as a seafarer? Even it is a fact that we, as seafarers are able to go from on place to another, it doesn’t necessarily mean that we have all the leisure we can get out of those places. It might be somewhere like Brazil, where anyone would have an automatic picture of Rio de Janeiro in the mind; Barcelona, where, perhaps one might imagine the famous Sagrada Famiglia Cathedral or Singapore where Sentosa, Marina Bay and its well-known trademark, the Merlion are all real places that one might be pondering about once all those places are heard. It is called association. Association in such sense that we tend to associate words with pictures. We heard or read a particular word, a name of a place for instance, then we picture out something associated with that place.

      At this point, a seafarer’s stereotyping-induced dilemma takes place. He posted on a social networking site his location (there are internet connections on vessels nowadays), or maybe a photo of a certain place or port from other country, then his friends as well as his family would definitely post a thread of comments in awe.Maybe they were thinking that when a seafarer is in a port who happen to be granted with shore leave, he is now free to travel on that country. Perhaps he would go to bars, drink some booze, make some acquaintance with foreign women and roam around the city. Little did they know that being on other land as a seafarer doesn’t guarantee a full-time getaway or total sight-seeing.

     I’ve been to different ports, but I can’t say that I truly enjoyed all those places outside the country. I guess it takes a profound sense of appreciation and keen observation before one can say that he enjoyed a place so much, even if it’s for a short period of time. If I am going to count the number of times a ship berths to a port, it would be an average of twice a month depending on the origin of the vessel to its point of destination. Considering that number, I can go to 18 different countries or places based on the number of months as per my contract which is nine months. With that, I can boast to my friends back on the Philippines that I’ve been here and there, did this and that, saw this and that, so on and so forth. Unfortunately, that idea is something that is very unlikely to happen.

      A seafarer is specifically hired on board a vessel to work. Nothing more, nothing less. The good thing is that he has the opportunity to go to different countries or places since it is included in his line of work. But looking at the other way, even though he is able to go to those places, he cannot spend his time there like a common tourist or a backpacker. He will, go out of the ship, take some few hours unwinding on an environment devoid of work, then go back to the ship. Sometimes he is actually deprived of this opportunity because he is expected to perform his duties during port operations.

      Seeing this situation every now and then, I realized that I can make the most out of my time once I happen to go on shore leave, or even on a short transit to a certain area, say, the Suez Canal. Going to places would be fun, even if it would be on a short period of time. All I need to do is widen my perspective, invite new ideas and look at everything on various point of view. Through that I can learn and become knowledgeable about different people and places. I can also obtain enjoyment as well as peace of mind by simply admiring those things I see and new to me and then I can tell stories (the good ones) to my family and friends once I finish my contract and return back home.

     Opportunities like shore leave allows a seafarer to enjoy life away from his tiring job on board. He can choose to enjoy his short-term stay on foreign land or be depressed due to overspending. Whatever his choice is, it would definitely affect his own well-being. Anyone would say that there is no easy job in the world out there and seafaring is not an exception. Hence, chances are given to unburden people of their toxic routines. We will always work to suffice our needs but it is not even a reason for us to stop enjoying life. We can be too tired of our job and all we can do is rest. But one thing is for sure. We always have a choice.

I confess…

man-kneeling-in-prayer

      I am a human. Living in this world for survival. I believe that I have my own purpose, but until now it’s nowhere beyond my understanding. I ‘m trying to live with the society’s standards. I want to adhere to it, live in peace without any guilt but my own nature as a human contradicts the laid structure of its ethics. I want to live my life to the fullest, but every strand of my humanity tells me that I am bound to live a life amidst the cruelty of this world. I try hard to survive my own dilemmas. I strangle to fight and break free from the shackles of my own dark persona. I keep on trying to overcome my own weaknesses, but every time I try to make a step forward, an endless void appears before me; devouring my will to redeem myself. Today would be the start of another battle. A battle against me, against my own self, against the odds my own mind created. Hence, today I will start to lighten the burden of my heart. I will face the truth and bathe myself in light. To try in my own way how to live in life without regrets. Hence, I confess.

     I confess about my sins. My sinful nature as a human, my imperfections that made me inclined to worldly desires. I confess all of those selfish desires, all those things that my eyes have seen, that my head welcomed without any second thought, that my darkness feed on to nourish itself. I confess that I let myself fall into the abyss of sins, with myself knowing that I would fall. I confess that due to my own insolence I am arrogant. I keep on believing that I would be forgiven and would be given another chance, but I set aside both things and continued on adhering to the call of my own desires. Hence, I confess.

     I confess about my own desires, my carnal desires. I confess that because of these things I let my guard down and let the world feed on me. I was so naïve and carefree. I keep on telling my self that I won’t be swayed by what I see, by what I hear. I was totally blinded by my own belief, and let the prevailing trend consume on my curiosity. I confess that my lust has led me to a depth that I’m starting to break into pieces, that I am starting to be covered in darkness. I confess that it started to create an alternate universe inside my head, making an escape hub from the real world. I confess that I keep on living on vivid fantasies, fueled by my carnal desires and tried in vain to stop the expansion of the said universe. Today I will take a stand to take over my own self. To stop what I have to stop. To live in the real world with real people. Hence, I confess.

       I confess about my weakness. My weakness that makes me a lowly pathetic human. I was given a brain to judge, a heart to decide. I was considered superior among all other creatures, but I am weak. I confess that I was considered superior but cannot prove that argument. I make decisions, make judgments and make some choices. I make all of them to live life the way I want it to be, but I end up empty and clueless of my very own life. I’ve been looking at life with various perspective, but cannot find my own purpose. I want to overcome my weakness, my inability to properly use my God-given talents to find my purpose. Hence, I confess.

       I confess about my doubts, my agnosticism. I confess that there are times that I almost doubt the existence of the Divine. I confess that I only ask for His guidance when I need Him the most, when I have no one beside me to help me. I confess that I am arrogant at the same time ignorant, that my faith is easily swayed, that I don’t stand to what I see is right. I confess that as a human I keep on making excuses, that I make a senseless argument to make my sins just. I confess that I know the Law of the Divine, but tries to become ignorant to cover up for what I did wrong. I confess that I see people doing wrong, but I do nothing to tell them that what they did is wrong. I need to straighten my path in life. I need to have a promising relationship with the Divine. Hence, I confess.

        I confess about everything that is in me that holds me to the path of being humane. I confess about everything that is in me that holds me to have a life with no regrets, a-not-so-perfect but contented life, a life that I wish I could live to the fullest. I confess everything that is in me that holds me to have faith not faltered. I confess that I make sins intentional or unintentional, but I am bind to become accountable to those sins. I want to know my purpose and I believe that this would be the first step in knowing that very purpose. Hence, I confess.

Photo: credits to the owner.

Kapag Seaman ba, si Manloloko na?

 

Keep-Your-Man-From-Cheating-Guy-And-Woman-Holding-Hands

            Nasa elementary pa lang ako noon nang una kong marinig ang kantang  “Seamanloloko” ni Ai Ai dela Alas. Nakakatuwa dahil kahit sa mga karaokehan sa probinsya ko lang naririnig iyon na kinakanta ng mga nag-iinumang magkukumare eh tumatak sa isip ko ang mga linyang, “nang ikaw ay sumakay, labis akong nahirapan, nangulila sa iyo, andun ka sa karagatan.” Sa totoo lang, wala akong kaide-ideya kung ano ang seaman na yan, kung kaya’t sumasabay na rin ako sa biruan naming magkakapatid at magpipinsan sa pagamit ng salitang “seamanloloko” at pagkanta sa awiting ito ni Ai Ai. Ang hindi ko alam, pagse-seaman rin pala ang kukunin ko sa hinaharap.

           Fourth-year high school naman ako noon nang magsimula akong magkaroon ng ideya sa kung ano ba ang seaman. May grupo ng mga taong nakagayak at nakauniporme ang pumunta sa paaralan namin upang magbigay raw ng pagsusulit dahil may ino-offer na scholarship para sa mga interesadong kumuha ng Bachelor of Science in Marine Transportation tapos Marine Engineering sa kolehiyo. BSMT? BSME? Anong magiging trabaho mo nun? Naging tanong ko sa ilan kong kasama. Sinagot naman nila akong, magiging seaman daw.  At dahil tuition fee, boarding house, pagkain pati na ang libro, lahat free kapag makapasa kami sa scholarship nila, pati na ang kasiguraduhan ng trabaho pagkatapos namin ng kolehiyo ang ino-offer kaya walang pagaalinlangang  kumuha kami ng pagsusulit. To make the long story short, nakapasa kami, ginugol ang tatlong taong academic year sa institusyong humubog sa amin at nagbigay ideya sa kung ano talaga ang seaman at sa huli, nabigyan ng trabaho ng kompanyang nagkaloob ng scholarship sa amin. Sa pagsalang namin sa mundo na kilala sa tawag na maritime industry, doon ko lang lubos na naunawaan kung ano at kung sino ba talaga ang seamang  nag-iibayong dagat.

The story of Chinese lansones and the price of my stupidity

           

           “Walang manloloko kung walang magpapaloko,” sabi nga ng isang kasabihang Pinoy. Minsan katangahan lang talaga at poor judgment ang pinapairal ng tao kaya lagi siyang naloloko. Minsan naman, kahit anong ingat ng isang tao para hindi siya maloko, dumadating pa rin sa puntong maloloko at maloloko siya. Tutal magpa-Pasko naman, siguradong marami ang magte-take advantage sa sitwasyon at manloloko na naman ng kapwa nila (though same applies to everyday situation). Ngayon, kapag intentional na naisahan ako ng kapwa ko, hindi ko sila pinagmumura o sinusumpa. Pinapakulam ko sila (just kidding).  Sinasabi ko na lang na baka mas nangangailangan sila o di kaya’y bahala na si Lord sa kanila. Kapag naman bigla kong narealize na super katangahan na talaga ang pinairal ko, bumubuntong-hininga na lang ako. Haist.

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Appearance can be deceiving; a fruit can look so delicious but in reality,

it doesn’t even appeal to your taste buds

I will miss you, Harvey Neolloydia

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     I spent time looking back at our ship as the service boat propelled through the dark waters in  this part of the Persian Gulf. We were  headed to the nearest port, but  my mind was still on board the ship. Our disembarkation was unexpected. We’ve been working for hours until dusk when captain announced that off-signers will be leaving that night. I was really exhausted but the fact that we will be returning back to the Philippines soothed every tired muscle of my body. It was a painkiller, making me forget the long and weary transfer of the ship’s stocks for the next voyage. All that’s on my mind was the picture of me and my colleagues on a hotel in Dubai, enjoying ourselves in a luxury that was free of charge, while waiting for our flight by the morrow.

Dealing with Technology Trend

        When smartphones and other electronic gadgets were on the rise, I was anxious to get hold of the latest model, the one with the most awesome specs and those with the amazing designs. I used to watch in awe as my classmates showcase their gadgets, all in its innovative and spectacular glory. When passing by an all electronic gadget stall inside the mall, I stand for minutes staring at the array of mobile phones, tablets and laptops with this note in mind: someday, I am going to buy one of those silver and shiny stuff that my classmates and other friends have.
          When I had my first salary, I thought of buying the latest model of this particular smartphone. To my own surprise, I rejected the idea and kept my money instead. Same goes with my succeeding months on board. And every time I look at the shop to check on some gadgets, the urge of buying was already gone.
          Now I guess I am contented of the things that I already have (my current phone is a local brand phone but enables me to browse the internet, update my FB and Twitter etc.). I don't need to keep up with other people with the latest model of this and that. Though I don't have any negative sentiment towards technology, perhaps it is the inner me telling me that first things first and spend my money well.
          Indeed, people today tend to go with the latest trend as different gadget manufacturers continue their race to upgrade models every now and then. Living in a world where cyberspace has expanded through innovation, we must take a firm stand on how to deal with the flow without violating our morals and our sense of judgment. We are free to use any gadget for whatever purpose, but we must be responsible enough in doing so. And prior to buying such gadget, take some consideration first (can you afford it? is it badly needed? etc.). It is a virtue to allot some time to think about your decisions. So goes a modern Filipino saying: "Isip-isip din pag may time."