“Walang manloloko kung walang magpapaloko,” sabi nga ng isang kasabihang Pinoy. Minsan katangahan lang talaga at poor judgment ang pinapairal ng tao kaya lagi siyang naloloko. Minsan naman, kahit anong ingat ng isang tao para hindi siya maloko, dumadating pa rin sa puntong maloloko at maloloko siya. Tutal magpa-Pasko naman, siguradong marami ang magte-take advantage sa sitwasyon at manloloko na naman ng kapwa nila (though same applies to everyday situation). Ngayon, kapag intentional na naisahan ako ng kapwa ko, hindi ko sila pinagmumura o sinusumpa. Pinapakulam ko sila (just kidding).  Sinasabi ko na lang na baka mas nangangailangan sila o di kaya’y bahala na si Lord sa kanila. Kapag naman bigla kong narealize na super katangahan na talaga ang pinairal ko, bumubuntong-hininga na lang ako. Haist.

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Appearance can be deceiving; a fruit can look so delicious but in reality,

it doesn’t even appeal to your taste buds

        This story is not about the Chinese lansones itself but about a boy, who once upon a time bought this dreaded fruit, only to be deceived by its luscious appearance. The story happened on a particular part of the city where fruit vendors mount their products on stalls and offer them with such tempting price and description to every passing person near their stores. Well, because of his curious nature and plain stupidity, the boy, who was quite stunned by a fruit not usually heard of or seen ever since he existed on this planet, bought it without any doubt or hesitation. So upon his acquisition of the said fruit, he immediately peeled it off and devoured the juicy meat which, to his surprise, was tasteless and unappealing to the palate. He was thinking of cursing and suing the fruit vendor who sold the fruit to him but no, that’s not something a civilized person would do in that kind of situation. He just slapped his forehead in dismay, cursed his own stupidity and started finishing off every fruit since he don’t have any choice but to eat them.

        So goes the story of the Chinese lansones which is actually the story of a boy’s stupidity who bought the Chinese lansones. He realized that he was not keen in making mature decisions on simple things and got easily fooled by mere appearance and some descriptive words.  Now, let me share some stupid moments in my life and how I became similar from the boy in the story. Let’s just hope that both me and the boy learned our lessons well, because I am afraid that there might come a time when we can no longer afford our own stupidity.

Young Promdi Goes to Big City

         Going to Manila was not an easy task for me. I’ve been there for a couple of times but I am not familiar with every street or corner, what or where to ride once I arrive at the bus terminal. Usually,  someone  meets me there and accompany me to my destination. With that I was able to go to and fro without any hassle, but it made me less confident in travelling alone. Not long until I learned how, though it was the hard way. I just finished high school and I was told to go there during my summer vacation to bring some items like rice, vegetables, coconuts and root crops to my Ate who was then living on Sta. Mesa. No one was able to fetch me that time, so they asked me if I can go there alone. Of course I have nothing to do but to say yes. So with some courage and confidence, I prepared myself for the big city.

          I arrived at the terminal earlier than usual. The sun was not rising yet and few people, along with those who just arrived gave life to this part of the metropolis. Taxi drivers rushed to the newcomers, offering a ride on an agreed fare. One driver approached me and asked where I was going. I told him that I am going to Pureza  and then he said that he can take me there as long as I am going to pay 300 pesos. Powtek!, I told myself. That was a hell of a taxi fare (you might ask me why I haven’t talk to him to agree on a metered ride. Well, I was unaware of those things during that time.) So I disagreed and then he left.

         Few minutes later, another person approached me. This time, a tricycle driver. He told me that he is offering a ride to Pureza for 100 pesos only. That sounded good to me so I agreed. He carried my belongings, put them on his tricycle and we started to leave the terminal. I started to feel nervous when I saw that we were just going rounds on Cubao terminal area. Powtek! Mali ata nasakyan ko. After a series of rounds, he dropped me on LRT2 Cubao Station. I told him that it was not Pureza but he answered that I could take a ride there to Pureza. Damn. I knew that I can’t win an argument with him since I’m already scared. So I took all my things from his tricycle, let him be and waited what will happen to me next.

       I stood helplessly beside the road watching the early morning vehicles speed up to their destinations. I’ll try luck this time. I waited for a jeepney bound to Divisoria. Not long, one jeepney stopped so I took a ride with no hesitation. I just told the driver that he can stop by Pureza LRT Station. To cut the long story short, I was able to arrive at my Ate’s place with all the items I brought from Bicol. I just can’t get over from that tricycle driver who fooled me because I am new to the big city. Bahala na si Lord sa kanya. I hope lang na wala nang magpaloko sa kanya.

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When the urge is great, try to forget about it.

Look twice, think thrice and decide wise.

 Be Wary of Girls who Run After you Inside the Mall

           “Kuya! Kuya! Pwede po bang magtanong?” Powtek. Chicks Alert. Spotted at 12’oclock. Tumatakbo. Papalapit yata sa akin.

                Ah, ako ba? Ano ba yun miss?, tanong na lang din ang naisagot ko nung nasa harapan ko na siya.

                 “Kasi kuya magtatanong lang sana ako kung ilang taon ka na.” Maputi siya. Balingkinitan ang katawan. Maamo ang kaniyang mukha at mas napansin ko ang mapupugay niyang mga mata sa malapitan. Powtek. Maganda siya.

                 Twenty pa lang naman po ako. Matipid ang naging sagot ko.

                 “Sakto kuya. May ATM card ka na ba? Ano po ang trabaho ninyo? Baka gusto mong manalo ng Trip for Three in Hongkong, o di kayay manalo ng sasakyan. May freebies din po kaming ipinamimigay, magtatanong lang po kami ng ilang work-related questions.” Naging sunod-sunod ang tanong niya sabay na ang pag-alok ng kung anu-ano.

                 May lakad pa kasi ako, pagdadahilan ko. Sakto din kasi dito sa mall yung pinunta ko.

               “Ano ba yan. Ilang minutes lang kuya. Hindi mo ‘to pagsisihan. About lang ‘to sa company namin saka yun lang naman. Tapos, may raffle entry ka na. Kailangan mo lang ipakita ang ATM card mo. Malay mo, manalo ka ng trip to Hongkong. Isama mo ako ha?” Powtek talaga, naughty na ang tono niya.

               Napaisip ako bigla. Ilang minutes lang naman. Lecture lang yun. Saka mukha namang mabait si Miss Ganda.

               “Ano na kuya? Mukhang natulala ka na yata?” Natatawa niyang tanong. Napangiti na rin ako.

                Mabilis lang ‘to ha? May gagawin din ako. So, saan ba ako pupunta?

               “Sasamahan kita kuya. Doon tayo pupunta sa may 5th Floor nitong mall. Don’t worry. Hindi kami sindikato o kung ano. Pero salamat talaga kuya ha.” Ewan ba’t nagpasalamat pa siya. Mukhang tuwang-tuwa siya habang ini-escortan ako papunta sa opisina daw nila.

                Nakarating na kami sa opisina nila sa 5th Floor. May mangilan-ngilang taong kinakausap ng mga personnel nilang nakapormak na gayak. Gusto rin sigurong manalo sa raffle, sa isip-isip ko. Sinalubong ako ng isa pang babaeng nasa 25-27 yata ang edad. Saka na nagpaalam sa akin si Miss Ganda at sinabing babalik daw siya sa ground floor. Bahala na daw sa akin yung babaeng sumalubong sa akin.

                 Balingkinitan din yung isang babae. Hindi ganun kagandahan pero ok lang, Pwede na, kumbaga. Pumasok kami sa loob at inalok niya ako ng maiinom. Maya-maya, may binigay siyang papel sa akin. Pipirmahan daw. Nakalagay dun na mag-aagree ako na makinig sa lecture niya.

                 Ako naman itong si tanga, pumirma not knowing na aabot sa isang oras ang nasabing lecture. Maganda ang naging discussion. Nagulat siya nung malamang seaman ako, dahil marami rin daw seaman ang pumupunta sa kanila. Napunta na sa mga future plans, insurance at kung anu-ano pa ang topic namin. Inexplain ang ganito, ganyan, mga kasiguraduhan kuno sa future, etc.etc. Nawili ako sa huli pero sinabi ko na pagkatapos nun aalis na ako.

               Matapos ang introduction, discussion at conclusion, humanda na akong umalis. Sa huling part pala may inalok siyang plans at sinabi niyang sayang naman kung di ko i-aavail. Ayun sa kinalaunan napapayag niya ako. Swinipe ang ATM card ko at binawasan ng mga 3k ang laman. For the future, isip-isip ko.

              Pagkatapos noon pumunta na ako sa tunay na sinadya ko sa mall. Ilang minuto lang naman yun at umuwi na ako. Nung papalabas na ako, andun pa rin si Miss Ganda.

              “Ano kuya, ok na ba? Teka, may freebies ka pa pala, as I promised. Ano ba ang gusto mo, wall clock o tumbler?”

                Hmmm. Tumbler nalang. Andami na kasing orasan sa bahay. Pinaghintay niya ako sandali at umalis upang kunin yung tumbler. Maya-maya, bumalik na rin siya.

                “Eto kuya ang tumbler mo. Basta ha, pagmanalo ka, sama mo ako. Ingat ka sa pag-uwi.” Nakangiti pa siya habang inaabot sa akin ang tumbler. Pagkatapos nun, umuwi na rin ako.

            Pagdating ko sa bahay, nakaramdam ako ng di tama. Something doesn’t feel right. Tinext ko ang bespren ko kung ano nangyari sa 3k ko. Pinagalitan niya ako, dahil di daw ako nag-iisip. Sinabi ko naman na mas mabuti na yun kesa magasta ko lang sa kung anu-ano. Todo defend ako kaya nag-agree na lang siya sa akin.

            Kinaumagahan, paggising ko, unang naisip ko na isa akong napakalaking tanga.      

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 Always remember that curiosity killed the cat,

but katangahan applies as well. 

The Dreaded Dummy Phone

            My sister and I was about to ride an “FX” home one afternoon when a boy of around 15-16 years old approached us and showed something in his pocket.

          “Kuya gusto po ninyo?” his voice was in low tone asking us to buy the item in his hand.

           “Totoy totoo ba yan? I asked as he gave the phone for me to inspect.

          “Totoo po yan, mainit-init pa ho, ngayong linggo nga lang ho eh.” he answered.

         “Teka lang Totoy ha, tatanungin ko muna ang Ate ko.” I turned to my older sister and asked her about the phone. She told me that it was indeed, original. It was quite new without any scratches or damage. She also said that I have to ask the boy if the phone is already open line.

           “Open line na po yan kuya. Tinanggal lang namin yung sim saka sinira. Tingnan nyo po.” He opened the phone, scrolled the settings and showed me everything I needed to see to convince me that the item was legit.

            My hand shivered but I tried not to show it to the boy. Stay cool, I told myself. Phone lang yan.

           “Sige Totoy, kukunin ko. Magkano ba?

            “Php 3,500 lang po. Sulit na po sa inyo yan.”

           “Teka lang ha,kakausapin ko ulit ang Ate ko.” I was still holding the phone then he told me to give it back while I am talking to my sister. I gave it back and turned to my sister.

          “Ate, ano sa tingin mo? Ok na ‘to di ba? Kunin  na natin?”

        “Oo nga eh, pero kinakabahan na talaga ako Froi. Nanginginig na nga ang kamay ko o.”

         “So ano na?”

         “Ikaw ang bahala. Ok lang naman sa akin.”

         “Sige Ate kukunin ko na.” I turned back to the boy and told him that I am going to buy the phone.

          “Totoy, pwede bang 3,000 na lang?” I showed him some cash.

           “Eh baka mapagalitan po ako neto, pero sige po. Basta wag niyo na pong bubuksan ang phone dito, baka mahuli tayo.”

           “Sige, basta ok na tayo sa 3k.” I gave him the money and he gave me the phone. I immediately slipped it inside my bag. “Andiyan na yung FX. Sasakay na kami.”

           “Ok kuya salamat.” He vanished into the crowd as we made our way to the FX. I never expected to see him again after that. Well, he was just a single soul out of a hundreds or thousands who roam at dusk around here in Baclaran.

          “Wag mo munang buksan yan dito Froi, pagdating na lang sa bahay,” my sister reminded me.

           I obeyed and waited until we arrived home. When we get there, I tried opening the phone but it won’t open. Perhaps it is already lowbat, I told myself. I asked my sister for the charger and she lent me hers. To my dismay, the charger won’t fit to the phone. We tried in vain to fit it in but no, all effort was wasted. I only get a feeling that we were fooled by the boy who sold the phone to us. Pucha talaga.

        I borrowed my Ate’s phone and compared it to the one we had just bought. Taking a closer look, it was indeed different. The labels at the back of the phone were misspelled and the screws at the bottom were quite large compared to my Ate’s phone. The hell na talaga.

       I told my Ate that we were fooled by the boy. She said that I can try having the phone checked by a dealer on small stalls located at most super malls. So by the morning, I went to the nearest mall in our place and have the phone checked. I found a cellphone repair booth and presented the phone. After few minutes, Manong Taga-ayos said something that pushed my very existence to the pits of shame and self-humiliation.

      “Noy, naloko ka. Dummy phone nabili mo.”

       Curses. I smiled weakly and thanked him.

       “Salamat ho kuya.” I went home and bade 3,000 pesos adieu.

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Stupidity is not something acquired from eating Chinese lansones. Ang alam ko lang, powtek na stupidity yan!